The actual content is the joke.
1. Outrageous, yet vague claim.
2. Connect with friends you don’t like, take vintage photographs, read illiterately-authored comments, and much more. This is the app you’ve been waiting for.
3. It’s in my awkardly-positioned hand; it should be in yours.
1. A massive tagline to pull you in that actually explains nothing.
2. Connect with everyone else that has said app, even if you don't want to. Read posts form friends that use 1337 speak and seem as if they escaped the education system. An app that already exists in various forms and yet again, is presented before you in another, different form.
3. A slideshow of screenshots of the app in action, with the screenshots contained in the classic iPhone 4 container with a strangely positioned hand to give it that human touch.
Scares off ghosts
4. The occult may or may not exist, but with our GhostBuster® technology, we can get rid of the ghosts in your closet. Just call 555-2368 toll-free.
4. Claims to do things that it can't actually do, but something you forget about and shrug it off when you notice that it never actually did exist.
5. So, you’re sitting in Starbucks, having your Frappé-Latté (soy milk, no extra cream, venti), and your ludicrously chunky plastic-framed glasses need something to look at. No problem.
5. Imagine the above scene, but without the glasses on. You're sippin' on your favorite beverage and it suddenly hits you. What can you look at right now? What can you use to tell your friends what your doing every second of your life? This app. You'll use it to continue your campaign of being Hipster and different from everyone else and boast it's "too cool".
Still in beta
6. Our product has taken 5 years, 25 employees and $50 million to build, yet somehow, it’s still not finished.
Crazy, huh? That’s how we roll.
6. The company has an incorrectly spelled name, they have a few employees and all wear shirts buttoned up and tucked in with no tie. They spent an obscene amount of money making said app and it's still in beta because it looks cool and modern, not to mention something to add to the logo.
No global warming
7. Most phones get hotter in your hand. That’s because they don’t play rainmaking videos while you use the app.
Ours does, so when you use Yutuzo, you’re saving pandas.
7. Makes false claims just to make you think you need to download said app. Making you think that you're doing what normal hipsters do as well as save a planet at the same time.
That's the joke
* edit *
The links, I think
, is just a place holder, and a cheeky way to make you donate to the charity when you realise the cleverness of the article and decide to not fall for stupid things anymore and help a charity.